Much Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a big few days for homosexual-related very first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

The very first portion relates to all of us via xojane, the women’s site went right up by Jane Pratt (my personal hero)

(I’m significant) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled »
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,» this portion belongs to the «it simply happened if you ask me» feature which existed at JANE magazine and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively interesting private experiences.

The private writer of this part, who we’ll call «Ariel,» is obviously bisexual, but because she easily provides strike tasks to her male partners but doesn’t go out or often drop on ladies, the woman is, she clarifies, commercially, just a »

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.» (She additionally refers to herself as «mostly straight» and «straight» at other factors inside narrative.) Her reputation started, she explains, whenever her first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at her college — took place on her for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it right after which straight away fled the scene fearing her very own inability to execute such fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a long time period.

She produces:

«of course, word had gotten around that she and that I had connected and therefore I’d left her dangling, which had the peculiar aftereffect of offering me personally folk-heroine status. Kelly also known as myself a «pillow princess,» and henceforth, I happened to be one. It absolutely was like some kind of motion picture conceit where in fact the hero is actually recognised incorrectly as a hollywood and extends to drive in a limo and stay in a fancy resort caused by it.»

This evidently completely exercised in her support, as she romped about in college hooking up with many «aggressive kinds whom got down from the idea that I found myself unwilling to permit a lady touch me personally.» Post-college, she managed to move on toward net, where she advertised her calm position and sometimes met up with girls for NSA intercourse.

Around the end she problematically clarifies that whenever setting up with a lady she’s perhaps not attracted to, she merely closes her sight and envisions somebody else «while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.» Often it appears like she desires women to eat the woman out simply because they can be allegedly much better at it than guys are. She

could

decrease to them but «I am not online dating them, and I do not think I would wish to have my fetish corrupted by caring for somebody adequate to surrender.»

I’dn’t want to sit down close to Ariel on a plane, but her one-sided intimate encounters tend to be consensual and she’s simply advising a genuine tale of the woman existence, so I’m not really sure what you should label of this (and I’m curious to know what you will be making from it, if such a thing).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Project
) we have
We Married a Lesbian (and I also’m a Guy)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, «tended attain crushes on the same brand of woman: the star basketball player, the soccer ahead, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some just weren’t.» The guy wondered:

What-is-it that drew me oftentimes to women who had been same-sex attracted? It surely wasn’t the stereotypical male dream regarding what these were performing in bed, and it certainly had nothing at all to do with a macho notion that I could turn a gay girl right.

In areas, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded me of this price from

Girls Next-door

,
which I quoted in articles about feminine maleness
:

«â€¦if we’d to manufacture another generalization about lesbian taste, it would be that many united states are powerfully drawn to women, gay or straight, gorgeous or perhaps not, which seem just as if they’re able to look after on their own.»

The writer eventually marries a lesbian whom presented as directly, in which he discovered their own ensuing love life getting unsatisfactory. She would not give him hit jobs and failed to enjoy entrance but cheerfully approved their choices of cunnilingus. Whenever their particular sexless marriage ended in separation and a drug relapse (for him), he could be seemingly caring to their ex-wife’s battle rather than marking the woman as deceitful (as much of this commenters do):

She had come from a conservative family members that would being deeply embarrassed having a homosexual kid. She may usually have identified, but did the girl better to cover it, possibly hoping that the woman emotions might transform. Or she might-have-been like many women i have recognized, and just discovered the woman correct intimate identification after already being married to a person.

What is actually redeeming about any of it essay in my experience that the author’s conception of their own sex is mainly without the conventional male posturing one might anticipate in a bit in this way (the guy also means himself as «femmy»). Perhaps it simply seems that method because guys thus hardly ever come up with desiring powerful, sports, effective females with short-hair; but it is energizing however.

I really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for advising their own tales, but it is really worth discussing that both narratives apparently ride on concept that bedroom behavior may be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy each other’s business, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a «warning indication» the guy skipped, whenever entrance is rarely an exclusively heterosexual act (it seems more inclined Courtney dreaded the intimacy of entrance with one she don’t wish as with, yet , who knows) and dropping crazy, in the long run, is focused on your snatch but it’s additionally regarding the center and it’s really typically about having enchanting emotions. Those passionate emotions are the thing that transforms a hook-up connection into a relationship, most likely.

At long last at

nerve.com

there is a nice story straight through the horse’s mouth —
My First-time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I think here is the first-time the «first-time» series features included a lesbian.

Fundamentally, in ninth grade, the writer confessed to her companion that she had lesbian emotions on her, and her best friend reciprocated, plus they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian commitment and they are still with each other today and she’s a grown-up during the military!

This indicates they will have however to just take their particular connection outside of the wardrobe, which will be a bit puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: ends up this tale had been authored before DADT ended up being repealed, although it just adopted posted, therefore there’s nothing puzzling happening here. This is simply straight-up nice in just about every method, unequivocally.]

The main focus associated with piece (which is very lovely and nice) is found on the author’s knowledge of
just what lesbian intercourse IS
:

We had never gone down on each some other, and that I had been pretty sure that’s what we would meant as soon as we said we wanted to have sexual intercourse. (Now I understand that absolutely even more to fucking than slurping a lady’s snatch and calling it just about every day.)

She concludes:

I am aware that a lot of men and women differ about what virginity means to a homosexual lady, but virginity is wholly subjective, plus it truly depends on who you’re inquiring. Some people might state entrance has to be involved, but In my opinion its doing the person dropping his / her virginity. Basically feel i have lost my virginity, after that goddammit, You will find!

I have spent the vast majority of day and afternoon staring at wordpress, racking your brains on just what point i possibly could create about some of these parts. I thought a whole lot about why we’d never submit «I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess» on this subject web site but can’t work through the reason that I’d worry 50 people would vow never to get back here plus the remaning many-thousands people would fight with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the heating death of the world. We envisioned someone submitting «I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess» to all of us via email after which I envisioned the article conference in which we would arrive at that tale and all of say «NO» while doing so.

In trying to find a place to gleam from the stories, I’ve tried to determine what you’ll consider or say, and I also can not, and I also would you like to finish this blog post quickly to accelerate the process of me personally finding out what you believe about these stories. Yup, for the first time from the time beginning Autostraddle, I had gotten no clue what you should state about anything. Therefore perhaps i ought to only ask you — what is actually the a reaction to these pieces?